Liberals are horrified to see Ruth Bader Ginsburg defying stay home orders. She risks potentially fatal exposure to the killer coronavirus with wild abandon, not seeming to care one bit about the Democrats who rely on her to hold the liberal line on the Supreme Court. All Ginsburg cares about are her own selfish personal gains.
Ginsburg refuses to be trapped at home
Dying for her daily workout, “Notorious RBG” insists that vultures may be circling her home, but that’s not a good enough reason to socially distance herself from her regular exercise. In the last year she tangled with the grim reaper twice. Both times she came out on top, but she’s well aware a single sneeze could do her in at any moment, so she might as well enjoy what life she has left.
The spoken word rap star and MTV music award winner argues that keeping up her exercise routine for a daily workout with her personal trainer is more important than counterbalancing conservatives. Her trainer doesn’t want to give her a heart attack so he goes along with her wishes. “Everybody’s been shut down. The only reason why I didn’t shut the justice down is because, hey, she ain’t having it.”
He treats her like his own grandparents. “She has that grandfather status to me and if she wants to train, that’s the least that I can do.” Older patients often tend to avoid the work but not Ginsburg. “She doesn’t make excuses not to do it, so we find ways to do it.”
An exclusive club
Working out at home isn’t good enough for Ruth Ginsburg, but at least she’s not going to the local gym. She has private access to the Supreme Court gym, used exclusively by other Justices. Hopefully none of them will come down with Covid-19. If they do, they’ll likely spread it to Ginsburg before they show the slightest sign of symptoms.
Even though RBG isn’t using equipment sweated on by the masses, she still has to travel to and from her workout, exposing her unnecessarily. Right now, the facilities aren’t expected to get a huge demand.
“The High Court closed to the public weeks ago, and indefinitely postponed two weeks of March oral arguments.” That’s the first time that happened since the Spanish Flu hit in 1918. The Justices themselves are wandering in and out to pick up files to work on at home. “For cases that have already been heard, the justices can continue to deliberate and release opinions remotely.”
Ginsburg’s trainer assures nervous progressives that he diligently “wipes down all of the equipment she uses with sanitizing wipes before and after her workout.” He also maintains strict “social distancing” from the Justice during her workouts. Thankfully, the fancy machines all run on autopilot. “All I have to do is set it up and she just automatically knows exactly what I want to do. It doesn’t require me to grab her, hold her, get up close and personal.”
Liberals still aren’t convinced. “We are counting on Ruth Bader Ginsburg to be healthy. The Supreme Court is already scarily conservative, especially with democracy, ACA, & reproductive rights at stake. She should be doing virtual workouts & social distancing to the max. While we’re at it, can we bubble wrap her?” One “feminist critic” wrote.