Breaking: Terrorism Alert

alert

This particular terrorism alert was issued before the Taliban took over Afghanistan on Monday, freeing a whole bunch of al-Qaeda’s top guerrillas. Palace Minister of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas was warning about the elevated terror threat on Friday, August 13 when he sent out a bulletin hot off the presses warning of the heightened threat environment across the United States. We all know which big day is coming up.

America on alert

This morning’s surprise overthrow of Afghanistan underscores the need for each and every American citizen to be on the alert, right here in the homeland.

According to the imperial palace, the “threat environment to the Homeland is diverse and challenging, especially leading up to and following the 20th Anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terror attacks.” Not only that, there are some upcoming “religious holidays that could serve as catalyst for targeted violence.”

Despite the fact that guys who managed to make it out of Guantanamo bay, after spending years grinding their axes of revenge to a finely honed edge, are now loose and running Kabul, Homeland security is terrified of domestic extremists like those deplorable supporters of Donald Trump. They are convinced that conservatives are plotting something for August, they just don’t have a clue what, or any evidence.

There isn’t even chatter which is what really makes them nervous. According to the latest alert, threats “in the Homeland include those posed by domestic terrorists, individuals and groups engaged in grievance-based violence.”

In fairness, the alert also warns that they’re keeping a watchful eye on “those inspired or motivated by foreign terrorists and other malign foreign influences.”

In either case, foreign or domestic, the unstable troublemakers who like hard-core chat rooms “are increasingly exploiting online forums to influence and spread violent extremist narratives and promote violent activity.”

The threat landscape

They really don’t have anything specific to go on but DHS is worried so they decided to “build on” their January and May alert bulletins to provide “more information about the threat landscape we face for the coming months.”

They assure everyone that though they don’t have a clue what might be blowing in the wind, “DHS remains committed to sharing timely information with the public about the heightened threat environment.”

They claim they aren’t out to take away the rights of citizens. “We are committed to ensuring every initiative undertaken by DHS in response to the threat is consistent with privacy protections, civil rights and civil liberties, First Amendment-protected rights, and other applicable laws.” They just want you to be alert.

The FBI will be glued to their Facebook accounts. DHS and the Federal Bureau of Instigation promise they will continue “close coordinating with state, local, tribal, and territorial law enforcement and public safety partners to ensure situational awareness of potential violence in their jurisdictions.”

The new and improved Biden regime DHS is really proud of their “new, dedicated domestic terrorism branch.” Black Lives Matter™ and Antifa® don’t need to worry, they’re exempt. Only American flag waving nationalists can be considered criminals. As always, if you see something, say something.

Ratting out your enemies and rivals can be profitable in many ways if you stay alert and give them something they can work with. “DHS encourages the public to remain aware of the evolving threat environment and report suspicious activity to law enforcement officials.