Breaking: Iranian Gun Boats Surround U.S. Forces, Several Warning Shots Fired

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The Ayatollah kicked Joe Biden again and dared the Imperial Leader to do something about it. Shots were fired in the Strait of Hormuz today, when several U.S. warships escorting a submarine were attacked by Iranian gunboats. Meanwhile, His Wisdom sits in the Palace and sucks his thumb, wondering how many pallets of cash it will take to get the Iranians off his back.

Warning shots fired

Gunboats flying the flag of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps dared to test the patience of American Naval forces on Monday. Out of the blue, they “swarmed several U.S. warships” escorting a U.S. submarine.

More than a dozen Iranian vessels harassed the “formation of six U.S. warships including guided-missile submarine Georgia.” Faux News Pentagon correspondent Lucas Tomlinson tweeted that one “U.S. Coast Guard cutter fired warning shots in response.”

This is the second time in two weeks, Tomlinson notes, that “a U.S. warship fired warning shots at Iranian gunboats.”

The last time was April 26. The Iranians behaved themselves when Trump was in office so the April incident marked “the first time in nearly four years” that we had to open fire.

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The IRGC is officially designated as a “terrorist organization” so that means that Biden has to consider them allies informally while pretending to oppose them in public. The secret deals in Switzerland haven’t been going as well for the Iranians as they had hoped, so they think they can pressure the Palace into getting the Obama-Kerry appeasement package back in place.

They don’t care if a few shots are fired as long as somebody starts those pallets of cash flowing again. They also need to get the Uranium enrichment program up so they can have some bomb-grade fissionable material to keep the lights on with. It’s only peaceful, they promise.

A baker’s dozen

The “baker’s dozen” of 13 warships came speeding in until they got within “150 yards of U.S. Forces, which fired 30 warning shots” Pentagon spokesunit John Kirby called the incident “significant” because there were so many attacking boats. When Joe Biden heard the news, he allegedly replied, “C’mon man.”

He can’t help the Ayatollah get the reactor restarted when they keep slapping him around like that. He worked hard to downplay the last attack so he wouldn’t have to respond to it and now they go and do this.

The Palace is trying to downplay the incident as just some of the IRGC commanders having a little fun and practice sessions. They get bored out there patrolling the straights looking for oil tankers to hijack.

“The activities we typically see from the IRGC Navy are not necessarily activities that are directed by the supreme leader or from the Iranian state,” U.S. Central Command’s General Kenneth “Frank” McKenzie spins. Instead, we have to fire warning shots at “irresponsible” local commanders. “We’re very careful to ensure that we don’t get into a provocative cycle as a result of that. Luckily, our guys are pretty good.”

In other words, they were very careful that none of the shots they fired actually hit anything. There’s no policy of appeasement toward Iran in effect or anything though. Joe promised the Ayatollah that the sanctions would be gone by now.

The Foundation for Defense of Democracies is furious. “The Biden administration reportedly offered to lift U.S. terrorism sanctions on Iran in exchange for Tehran’s agreement to rejoin the 2015 nuclear deal,” they write.

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